Breaking things when angry

Posted: December 27, 2014 in uncategorised

I’ve been pacing around my house now for roughly half an hour. Primarily looking for something to smash.

My feet are propped up on a table with an axe shaped hole in the middle of it. A pretty good hole if I say so myself. The trouble with living in a block of flats is that you can only do a limited amount of damage before the other tenants become concerned, call the police or knock politely on the door. I do not want such attention.

So the hole in my table and a few bits of wear and tear about the house are all there is to see.

I went outside for a little while too, went looking for things that will eventually break, but could always do with a helping hand. Like rotten tree stumps or hard waste or decomposing bodies. I found none of these, but my quest is not yet over.

I went through all my belongings, looking for a sizeable item that I really would not need in the near future. Before I came to a conclusion, I decided to sit and write instead.

Sometimes, when angry, human beings are prone to various physical or verbal outbursts. These can be directed at other human beings, or at inanimate objects, or at themselves. They can also be directed at rather obscure enemies like time and space. At the moment I am pretty angry, but I’ve had time to cool off. What I would really like to happen, is this:

I awake on my couch five minutes from now, looking around I can see the sun lowering itself slowly into bed and hear the dusk birds tuck each other in. I also notice that I am in fact a grizzly bear with enormous forearms and a great shaggy head.
Pacing out my door and down the flight of stairs, I can hear the Chinese family eating their meal, and hear the budding pianist slave away next door. Then, to my surprise, outside my front door there is a neat line up of parked cars.

They are all very expensive cars, and all desperately calling out to be utterly obliterated. Not only am I a grizzly bear, but my claws are like mini lightsabers, glowing and buzzing. To the right of these cars is a stack of armaments including bazookas, miniguns, grenades, shotguns and various automatic weapons. I then spend the rest of the day and most of the night living in a place of fiery destruction.

Having written these things down, I don’t feel so angry anymore. It probably is better to channel your emotions into something useful.

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